Brer Rabbit and the Icky, Sticky Gummy Bear
As told by Hutch Whitman

On a cold mornin’ in October, Brer Fox was out and about, movin’ and groovin’ around the state fair, meetin’ and greetin’ all his peeps. He had that smirk look on his face and that flare in his eye, which let you know one hundred percent he’s up to no good. Now, Brer Fox had saved up his money and went searchin’ for a five pound gummy bear. It was forty bucks, but it would be worth every cent. He walked on home that night with that gummy bear tucked under his arm, smilin’ like it was Christmas morning.
The next day, Brer Fox couldn’t wait for Brer Sun to poke his head over the top of the earth. As soon as he did, Brer Fox set out. He plopped the world’s largest gummy bear smack dab in the middle of the road that Brer Rabbit came walkin’ down every single morning. He hid in the shrubs, while Brer Sun warmed up the gummy bear turnin it into one icky, sticky mess.
Just around mid-morn, Brer Rabbit came walkin’ down the road like he was king of the world. As he passed by, he eyed the gummy bear and could not believe his good fortune. He had been to the fair, and he wanted that gummy bear, but you know Brer Rabbit did not have forty bucks to his good – well, not so good – name. He said, “This is a great day, ain’t it? Although any day I wake up and see I’m alive and healthy is a good day in my book.” He laughed at his own joke and good fortune.
He reached on down to pick up the gummy bear, realizing too late that the gummy bear was stuck to the road and also now stuck to his hand. “Gummy Bear, give up the ghost, you are goin’ to be mine.” And he reached with his other hand, and with a smack, both hands were now stuck to that icky, sticky gummy bear.
Brer Rabbit, who was gettin’ annoyed at this point, could not wait a moment longer to sink his teeth into that icky, sticky gummy bear and take a sweet bite. Just before he did, he said, “You are my sweet reward for livin’ the good life.” He opened his mouth just as wide as he could and sunk his teeth into that gummy bear like he was Jaws. Now his head was good and stuck to that gummy bear, and he was just realizing that he was in a world of trouble.
As best as he could with his face stuck to the icky, sticky gummy bear, he looked up and down the road to see if help was coming. It was not. All he could think to do was use his feet to push himself off that gummy bear. He was good and mad at this point, so with all his might, he kicked that gummy bear as if he was tryin’ to send him on to heaven. Of course, his feet ended up stuck to the icky, sticky gummy bear as well. We call this bein’ in a pickle.
Brer Fox popped out of the shrubs, lickin’ his lips and laughin’ so hard his belly ached. He looked at Brer Rabbit, and said, “Now, now, I have finally got you, and I am goin’ to cook you up tonight. I’ll be servin’ the finest batch of rabbit stew this fair has ever seen.” Brer Rabbit couldn’t turn his head to see Brer Fox, but he knew he was down and out in a big, bad way.
Brer Fox, without warning, ripped Brer Rabbit off that icky, sticky gummy bear. He looked at Brer Rabbit with hate in his eyes, and he said, “Brer Rabbit, you ain’t goin’ to cause anymore ruckus around here. And, thing about it is, it’s your own fault. Nobody invited you to have some of this gummy bear. It isn’t yours. You didn’t pay forty bucks for it at the fair. You stuck yourself to that icky, sticky gummy bear without any invitation at all.”
Brer Rabbit replied, “Well, Brer Fox. You got me. No doubt about it. I guess today’s the day I get cooked up in rabbit stew. It sounds a whole lot better than getting thrown in the brier patch. For sure, being cooked up is like winning the lottery compared to ending up in brier patch.”
When Brer Fox heard this, he started thinking because what he wanted more than anything else was the worst possible death for this here rabbit. He thought about droppin’ Brer Rabbit off the Ferris Wheel. Brer Rabbit said, “Now Brer Fox, you know I hate heights, but that would still be better than the brier patch.”
Brer Fox thought about about drowin’ Brer Rabbit in the Log Flume. Brer Rabbit said, “Now Brer Fox, you know I hate the water and I can’t swim a lick, but I guess drownin’ is still better than the brier patch.”
Brer Fox was flat out of patience and figured he’d just deep fry that rabbit along with Twinkie he planned to have for dessert. Deep fried Twinkies are all the rage at the state fair. Now, Brer Rabbit could stand idea of being cooked up in a stew, but the idea of being deep fried was too much to bear, and he shivered at the thought. “Brer Fox, go on ahead. As awful as it will be, go on and throw me in that vat of hot, greasy oil. Do whatever you are going to do to me, but please, please, please, don’t throw me in that brier patch.”
Brer Fox was now convinced that the worst thing he could do to this here rabbit was the very thing the rabbit did not want him to do. He took Brer Rabbit and wound up like he was trying to pitch a baseball 110 miles per hour so he could win the big prize, and he chucked the rabbit across the road and into the middle of the brier patch.
He waited, and he waited, and he did not hear a thing. He waited some time longer. And still nothing. No sound. He thought maybe he was rid of that rabbit once and for all. But as that thought raced through his head, he heard a giggle. A giggle that grew into the kind of laughter you hear as people watch piglet races at the fair. Crazed, silly laughin’.
Brer Fox looked up. There was Brer Rabbit racin’ up the hill on the other side of the brier patch. He turned around and waved at Brer Fox. “Silly, old Brer Fox, I was born and raised in that there brier patch!” And he hopped over the hill and out of sight.